How to be present during mourning?

How to be present during mourning?

Wednesday, Feb 5, 2020 4 comment(s)

Some advice to offer support to your loved ones in the event of death.

We have all probably received a call from a friend or family member
informing us that a loved one has died. Like many, we feel uncomfortable in this situation because
we do not know what to do, what to say or what to do with this person.


We wanted to share some tips with you today.

Offer a presence to the bereaved

First, be there. Whether by bringing prepared meals to facilitate their daily lives, take care of their children to offer them a little respite. The vast majority of people in mourning will not remember the words spoken at the funeral home given their state of shock but to feel your presence at this difficult time will make all the difference in our opinion.

Second, listen, listen carefully during the funeral process, but especially after it is over. The funeral will have passed, the burial will have been done but the sentence will still be omnipresent. Ask her how she feels? How does she manage everything on a daily basis? Ask him to tell you anecdotes about this person? All these questions will allow him to express himself but also to move through his grieving process.

Third, Understanding the person, there is not a person who will react the same way to the loss of a loved one, so there is no "normal" behavior. The pain is experienced in a different way for each and everyone, we can take 2 children who have lost their mother and well each of them may have a very different reaction to departure. Yet it was their mother for each of them. Some will experience anger and their reaction will be rather aggressive and for others a deep sadness which will make them withdraw into themselves. Remember each person is different and feels grief in a very different way.

To finish, Let him feel sorrow, Do not tell a person that you understand him because you cannot really know how he feels because, only he knows it. Rather, tell her that she has the right to feel sadness, anger at the loss of a loved one. It is easy to say to someone "Do not cry" when their eyes are full of water or "Be strong" that life goes on and that they cannot give up but basically, it's okay if she cries or if she wants to give up she is sad! Give him permission to feel the feelings that inhabits them. Crying has never made a weak person on the contrary!

Do not hesitate to offer your help, your listening as well as your support your entourage will thank you for being present during this test.

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